I took Reese to the park the other morning to take his 1 year portraits, I think they turned out great and I just can’t believe my baby is 1! He talks and walks and is so much fun and I just don’t know where the time went.
Sometimes I get so caught up in God knows what that I forget how grateful I am to have a healthy wonderful baby and a supportive and loving boyfriend. My baby is beautiful and such a blessing. He changed my life and sometimes I get tired or want to rest and I just can’t. Rob is more then I could ever ask for. He took on the resposibility of my child and takes care of both of us…so much so that I get to stay home and see my son take his first step. I need to put my whole heart in to watching my neice. She is so smart and just needs me to be there for her and I take that for granted. I need balance. Now my son is tugging at my leg and my bike with the baby seat is sitting in the garage just waiting for Reese and I to get on it. I’m off, and happy to take a bike ride with my son. We need it.
Home life is wonderful. However, I finally understand why my Mom cleaned so much. Like scrubbing wall borders and vaccuming all the time and running the dishwasher twice a day. Okay I get it Mom…kids are messy. Especially when you have more then just your kids running around your house. It is funny how satisfying cleaning is though. I like doing it. Is it because I’m so bored at home? Or that is maybe a break from the kids? Or that while I’m doing it my I play The Beatles or Moby and watch the babies dance on the kitchen floor, usually with some sort of cutlery in his mouth. Safe, I know. All in all I notice a difference in my son. He knows his Mama now and there is nothing more enjoyable well except us being able to watch Rob pull into the drive way as he gets home from work. That is awesome.
Well it turns out…I get to be a stay at home Mommy after all. Starting June 9th I will be able to spend my time seeing my son's smiling face ALL DAY LONG. I will be keeping neice, and a friends daughter to keep some income flowing in. I am very happy and very scared all at the same time but for now.
HE sent this to me through e-mail from California….
I wish i was with you instead. I love you!
This weekend was good, bad, happy and sad. A lot happened. Overall the weekend was quite ground breaking. I got to spend the first Friday night in the new house with Rob being there. He finally isn't working on the weekends anymore so it was nice to be semi-lazy. I can't even remember what we did, probably just slept! Oh yeah, we had my crazy niece Ryan sleep over and she was spelling M-O-M, then following up with an excited, "that spells MOMMY" It was fun and she is so funny, just like her Mom.
Saturday morning we dropped Ryan off and picked up my brand new CAR. (I just heard Bob Barker's voice in my head) "It is a beautiful 2002 Jeep Liberty, with custom rack and only 30,000 miles on it!" I took over my sister's payment because my piece of dump truck died. Fantastic deal and I feel like royalty driving it compared to what I was driving. Now my daily trip to and from work (30 miles each way) will fly by!
Saturday night, in return for watching Ryan, my sister kept Reese OVERNIGHT! First time ever! I will have to admit I was a little upset right after I dropped him off. I think the chance to breathe and / or getting the chance to not be 100% responsible mommy made me a little sad. I don't know if it is the longing to have my old life or just the feeling of being sooo out of my comfort zone just because Reese wasn't with us. All in all it was a decent night and getting to wake up at 10 am was even better.
We picked up Reese around 11 am, got some breakfast, came home to beautiful weather so we decided to clean out the NEW truck and clean up Rob's car. Reese sat in the doorway of the house in his swing and life was grand. The whole rest of the evening was spent by the 3 of us just hanging out. I packed Reese's diaper bag before bed and prepared to get out of the door peacefully in the morning. And peaceful it was.
Another breakthrough…Reese hasn't officially crawled just yet but he pops up on all fours and rocks back and forth. So stinkin cute!
After 6 1/2 months you would likely think that everyday should get easier and easier to manage all the new responsibilities of parenthood plus the responsibilities you already possess. As the Brown’s get closer and closer to having their new little baby brown bun, I love giving them advice. But the bottom line is…I still feel like I CAN’T figure it out. Sure I got bottles, diapers, snotty noses and cuddles down pat. But what about everything else? When I overview my whole day I have about 3 hours of it that I actually value because that is about all the time I get to spend with Reese and Rob. The rest of the time I have is spent driving, working or sleeping. I realize that millions upon millions of people, especially women do this all over the world, with more kids then I have, making less money then I do. My arrogant boss reminded me of that. So how do they manage? How do you manage? I am just mentally tired. I used to be that girl who you would ask if they new the number to the domino’s on decatur and russell and I could tell you in a heartbeat. Where did the girl with the unimaginable amounts of useless information go? I want her back!
